Please Forgive Me
by tjmack
Summary: AU C&C. Set after Fire and Water but before Live Together, Die Alone. While helping Eko in buliding his church, and accident leaves Charlie incapable of taking care of himself. When Jack insists Claire look after him, and help keep his spirits up in a hop
1. Chapter 1

Please Forgive Me

Summary: AU C&C. Set after Fire and Water but before Live Together, Die Alone. While helping Eko in building his church, and accident leaves Charlie incapable of taking care of himself. When Jack insists Claire look after him, and help keep his spirits up in a hope that it will help him recover from his injuries. At first Claire is upset about the idea, but will her feelings for Charlie resurface, will she be able to not only help him completely overcome his past, but help him overcome his current injuries?

* * *

Chapter One

Charlie stared at the intimating makeshift ladder in front of him. Eko had been climbing up and down it all day, making sure that the main bamboo poles were lodged into the ground enough to hold up the roof that he would start putting up soon. Now it was Charlie's turn to climb up and down the ladder, to tie the pieces of vine onto the main structure to insure it's sturdiness. Charlie though, he hadn't had good luck with this ladder. He had almost fallen off of it just the day before. He would have too, if Eko hadn't steadied it. Charlie shook his head, he couldn't think about that now. No, he needed to climb the very intimating ladder, and tie the poles together. That's what he needed to do. Why, he asked himself, because he had nothing else better to do. Besides that, helping Eko build a church, that would help him overcome his past. That had only in recent days, came back to bite him in the ass, hard. He was done with all of it. The drugs, the band, all of it. All he wanted now was to have a family, but now Claire hated him, and didn't want anything to do with him. So what he wanted, and needed wasn't exactly in grasp at the moment. That was why he was helping Eko, to keep his mind off just how shitty his life had become recently.

"Charlie," Eko said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh, sorry Eko, just thinkin bout stuff," Charlie gave him a weak smile, before climbing the small ladder.

He took a deep breath before turning around towards Eko, and grabbing for the first piece of vine. He knew what he had to do, where he needed to tie these pieces of vine. He also knew which ones would give him the most trouble. He tied the first one with relative ease, and turned around and grabbed for the second piece. This one, wouldn't be as easy. Eko, he had tried to tie all the more difficult ones for Charlie, but his fingers were to big to fit into the small opening that they needed to be in, to tie the ends together were they needed to be tied. Since Charlie had smaller fingers, he ensured Eko all would be fine. Charlie was now wishing he had not, as he bent forward only slightly, and pulled the vine through the opening. He grabbed hold of each end of it, and tried to get it to tie, but his fingers were even to big, to maneuver the way they needed to.

"Eko, my fingers are too big," Charlie said, without turning back toward Eko.

"That's okay Charlie, just come down," Eko said.

Charlie shook his head. "I think I can get it, I just need to come at it from a different angle is all."

Charlie moved his feet just a bit, and lost his footing. He slipped, and fell backwards, his back landed on an exposed tree root. He cried out in pain, as it zipped up and down his back.

"Eko," was all he could get out before he screamed out in pain again.

"Where does it hurt?" Eko asked, as he stood over top of Charlie.

"My back Eko..." Charlie paused, "Oh god, I can't feel my legs."

Eko stood up, and looked down at him. Eko knew that if he could feel his legs, then chances were that he couldn't move them either. If he couldn't move them, and his back hurt like that, well Eko knew that wasn't good. He bent down beside Charlie again, and saw that he had lost consciousness. Eko carefully grabbed Charlie up, and headed off toward the beach-side settlement.

* * *

Jack sat peering out toward the water. It had been a long couple of weeks, and he was exhausted. He rubbed his hand together before slinging them over his knees, and watched as the tide came in and lapped over top of the sand, making a sandy foam in front of his feet. For some reason, watching the open ocean seemed to calm him. Gave him a chance to think, and feel peaceful. His peacefulness didn't last long, when he heard Eko screaming for him.

With that Jack rose to his feet, brushed the sand from his pants, and took off in the direction the voice was coming.

"What's wrong..." Jack said, before he saw a very unconscious Charlie laying in Eko's arms.

"He was helping me. He was tying the vines to the posts to make them sturdy. I tried to catch him, but I couldn't. He hurt his back Jack," Eko stated.

Jack gave him a look of weariness. He knew from experience just how severe spinal injuries can be. Without the right medical equipment, there was no way he could treat Charlie the way that he would need. Even if his injury wasn't bad enough to need surgery, he would still need intensive physical therapy to get back the freedom he had.

"Get him in my tent now," Jack said, as he started to pace a bit. His brain trying to find a way to make everything better. To fix Charlie, but there was nothing. Without an MRI or CAT-Scan, he wouldn't even know just how bad his injuries were. He really couldn't treat his injuries without knowing how bad they were. Especially if his injuries are worse than he might think.

"Jack, what's going on?" Kate asked.

He pulled her closer so no one else could overhear their conversation.

"It's Charlie, there was an accident. He hurt his back. Kate, I cannot fix it without equipment, and we're on this damn island...there is no medical equipment," Jack said a little more loudly than he had intended.

"Are you saying that Charlie could be...paralyzed?" Kate asked.

"It's a high possibility," Jack sighed. "Look I need some help, care to give me a hand?"

"Of course," Kate said, following Jack into his tent.

* * *

"Has he woken up yet?" Jack asked Eko, who simply shook his head no.

"Okay, well did he tell you anything before he passed out?" Jack asked.

"He said his back hurt...and that he couldn't feel his legs," Eko sighed.

"DAMMIT!" he screamed.

"Jack, I don't think we should tell the others. Not yet at least, not until we know more," Kate said.

"But I won't know more. All Charlie can do, when he wakes up, is tell me how bad it hurts, and if he still can't feel or move his legs. Just because he can't feel them doesn't mean that it's permanent, doesn't mean that it isn't though either. Like I said, I won't know without equipment, which I don't have. So he's pretty much screwed, because I'm going to have to treat it like it's permanent, which means if it's not, we'll never know. By the time we do, it could be to late to reverse it. The only real way to reverse that, is with aggressive physical therapy, but I can't do that without knowing that it's not permanent because that could end up making it worse. So, pretty much, he's screwed," Jack said, rubbing his temples.

"Is he going to need to be watched?" Kate asked.

"Yes, and as much as I'd want to, I can't keep and eye on him. Neither can you or Locke either. Who else at camp can we get to watch him?" Jack asked.

"I'm sure Hurley would do it," Kate said softly.

"We need him too..." Jack trailed off thinking. "I know someone, but they'd never agree to it."

"Not Claire Jack, not after what he did," Kate said.

"I know they aren't on good terms right now, but he will wake up and he needs to keep hydrated and needs nutrients. He can't get that stuff on his own, he needs someone who can watch him constantly, just in case he gets worse. Claire is our only option, she can't go anywhere, she has to keep an eye on Aaron. Like it or not, she is our only option Kate," Jack explained.

"Let me go talk to her then," Kate sighed, before taking off toward Claire's shelter.

* * *

"Hey, how you holding up?" Kate asked, peering inside the small tent.

"Tired, Aaron hasn't been sleeping well lately," Claire explained.

"Oh, that sucks," Kate said softly.

"Yeah, it does I suppose. So what do I owe the visit?" Claire asked.

"Me and Jack, we kind of need your help with something," Kate said.

"Do I have to go somewhere? Cause Aaron's been really fussy lately, I wouldn't want Sun to have to deal with that," Claire explained.

"No, quite the opposite really. What we need your help with, you really don't have to leave your tent for," Kate said, trying to avoid saying what she knew she had to say.

"Well what is it Kate?" Claire asked.

"There's been an accident. Someone was hurt really badly, and can't really take care of themselves, and we need you to look after them for a while," Kate said, hoping Claire wouldn't ask who until she agreed.

"Oh god, who?" Claire asked.

"I figured you'd ask. It was Charlie. It's a long story, but apparently he's been helping Eko build a church. He was trying to tie some vine one on of the posts to keep it sturdy, and lost his footing and fell off the ladder. He landed on a tree root. It's quite possible that he could be paralyzed. Eko said that the last thing Charlie said before he passed out was that his back hurt, and that he couldn't feel his legs," Kate sighed, unable to meet her eyes.

"You want me to help him? After what he did with Aaron?" Claire asked.

"Claire, if you don't, he won't have any chance of getting better, even if there is a chance. There isn't anyone else that...that..."

"That's stuck here all day, is what you want to say. Fine, whatever, does he have to stay here?" Claire asked.

"Yes, that way you can make sure he is eating and drinking. Jack said that he'll be in a lot of pain for a while, and he only has one thing to give him for the pain, and he wants to ask Charlie if he really wants it," Kate said, not wanting to tell Claire what it was.

"What's that?" Claire asked, curious as to what Charlie wouldn't want to take.

"Uh, the ummmmm, heroin," Kate said.

"Oh great, I'll be taking care of a heroin addict," Claire sighed.

"So you'll do it?" Kate asked.

"I can't nessicarly let him die, just because I don't want him around me now can I? Much to everyone's opinion, I don't hate him. I'm just not, real fond of him right now. I don't want to see him suffer, or die just because I'm uncomfortable," Claire said.

"Great, I'll let Jack know," Kate said, as she stood up, and walked out of Claire's shelter.

'It's gonna be a long few months,' Claire thought, 'What have I gotten myself into.'


	2. Chapter 2

**So sorry for the lack of updates. I've had a crazy few weeks...blah! life. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter, it came pretty easy when I found the time to actually sit down and write it. This chapter is a tad on the sad/depressing side, but I do promise that it won't stay that way...it just might take a bit :D**

Chapter Two

It had been two days, two long painful days. Not only for Charlie, but for Claire. Charlie had only been conscious a handful of times in those two days. Those times that he did come to, Claire held his head up and poured small amounts of water into his mouth, insuring that he didn't choke. Then he'd lose consciousness again. On the outside looking in, it looked like Claire wasn't the least bit uncomfortable. In reality she felt like she had no control over her life anymore. Now instead of just caring for her infant son, she now had to take care of an unconscious man that she didn't particularly care for at the moment.

"Claire?" a raspy voice called from the bed.

'Shit, he's awake,' Claire thought as she turned around, and saw his blue eyes burning into hers.

"Do you need something Charlie? Food, water?" Claire asked.

Helpful, that's what she needed to be. Keep his strength up, help him get better, help him heal. Yeah that's what he had to do.

"Water," he croaked out. His throat raw and dry.

Claire helped him hold his head up, as she let tiny amounts of water trickle down his throat and watched the painful expression on his face.

"Does that hurt?" Claire asked, knowing she had to inform Jack that he was awake.

"A little, throat's raw," he said, as she slipped his head back down.

"How's your back? Any pain?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, it feels like someone beat the hell out of it." he said before a look of fear crossed his face. Claire gave him a worried look before he continued. "I can't move my legs. I'm bloody paralyzed."

Claire flinched at the tone of his voice. She empathized with him, she'd freak out if she couldn't move her legs either.

"Look I have to go get Jack. I'll be back in a minute," Claire went to stand up, but Charlie grabbed her wrist.

"Please don't leave me alone," Charlie begged her.

The tone of his voice, and the look in his eyes brought tears to hers. How could she say no to that?

"Okay, but someone's gotta get Jack," Claire said, as Charlie let go so she could see if anyone was in shouting distance.

'Thank god,' she whispered to herself. "Eko."

"What is it Claire? Is Charlie okay?" he asked, guilt written on his face.

"He's awake, but doesn't want to be alone, can you run and get Jack for me?" Claire asked.

"Yes, of course, tell him I'm sorry?" Eko asked.

"I will," Claire nodded, as Eko padded off toward Jack's tent.

Claire slipped back under her tent, she felt his eyes on her. She tried to hide her unease and uncomfortablness.

"I know this is hard for you..." Charlie let his sentence fall off as he started coughing violently.

'Shit' she thought. "Charlie, what's wrong?"

Charlie didn't answer, instead he started coughing harder and longer. Claire held her breath, afraid he might just die right then and there.

"Claire, what happened?" Jack asked, as he rushed in and slid down beside Charlie.

"He tried talking and then he started to cough like that," Claire stuttered slightly over her words, as she watched Charlie clenching his sides.

"Okay, Claire I hate to ask this, but can you give me a minute to examine him...alone?" Jack asked.

"Yes, of course," Claire said as she picked up Aaron, and followed Eko out of her shelter, the sounds of Charlie's horrible cries fading into the distance.

"He shall be fine Claire," Eko said, his voice deep and husky, as he put one hand on her shoulder.

"I hope so, I mean...It's so hard to be angry at someone who is in so much pain. He can't walk, and Jack doesn't even know if he'll ever be able to again. Eko, what if it's permanent?" Claire asked, her blue eyes looked almost glass like with the tears building up in them.

"I have faith that it won't Claire. You need to have faith too. Charlie is a good man, he may have strayed a few times, but he is a good, kind man. God will be good to him," Eko explained.

"It's just so hard..." Claire let her sentence trail off as she watched Jack emerge from her shelter. The look on his face did not promote faith. It promoted a feeling that Claire didn't like, one that was foreign to her.

"He's in a lot of pain Claire..." he paused, as he shifted his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably. "He's refusing the only thing I can give him."

"The heroin?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, if he doesn't take it, he'll be in severe pain without it. He might not be able to sleep, and it definitely won't help him sleep. I can't force him to take it, but maybe if you let him know that it's okay if he does...maybe he'll take it?" Jack asked her.

"Jack I don't know if I can do that, because quite frankly I don't know if I do think it's okay. I don't want him getting addicted again. I want to be able to forgive him, and him becoming a junkie again won't help that," Claire sighed when she finished, realizing how selfish she sounded. Keeping Charlie in pain, so she could decide if she could forgive him for trying to help her, trying to save Aaron.

She knew deep down that Charlie wasn't trying to hurt him. Charlie would have never hurt Aaron, he loved him too much. "I will Jack."

Jack looked back up at her, "T..."

"He doesn't deserve to have to live in pain just because I'm uncomfortable with it. I just want you to promise me that if he does get addicted again, you will help him with his withdraw. It's not fair that he has to go through that twice," Claire made sure he heard that last part before stomping off toward her shelter.

She meant it too, it wasn't fair that he worked so hard to get clean to only have to get addicted again.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Claire asked.

"A little better since I stopped trying to cough up my lung. My sides are still a little sore, and it feels like someone took a very large bat to my back. Besides that though? I'm just peachy," Charlie managed a tangled little smile, which cause Claire to giggle a little.

"Charlie, you need to take the heroin. It's for your own good," Claire said.

"Yes mum, I'll get right on that," Charlie said rolling his eyes.

He had already said he didn't want that god-forsaken drug in his body. Now Jack had went and elected Claire to act like his mother. He was throughly pissed and if he could walk, he'd go kick Jack's ass. He might lose, but at least he'd have the ability of knowing that he did what he felt like doing.

"Charlie I'm serious. You are going to be in severe pain, you won't be able to sleep...won't be able to rehab, nothing. You need to take it," Claire said, slipping Aaron back into his crib, before sliding down beside the small makeshift bed that Charlie was laid on.

"No Claire, I don't want that damn drug anywhere near me. I hate it, I don't want it! I don't like who it makes me become. I don't need it, I'll show you," Charlie pouted. He didn't want it, why couldn't they see that?

"Char-"

"No, don't, save it. I don't want it, end of discussion. Now, I know that Jack sent you in here to make me think that it's all fine and dandy to take it, but it's not. Chances are, if I take it, I'll be come addicted to it again. Do you know what that means Claire? Do you? It means another withdraw, I don't want that. I've been through it once, I will not go through it a second time," Charlie said, his eyes burning a hole into the tarp that had become the ceiling of Claire's shelter.

"Charlie none of this is right. You shouldn't have to go through that again, your right about that. I won't force you to take it, just know that I won't be upset with you if you decide that the pain is too much," Claire said, as she rose to her feet.

"Claire, I'm paralyzed, possibly forever. I could care less about pain. It could never be worse than knowing your never going to walk again, that your never gonna be able to walk hand and hand down the sandy beach with someone you care about. That your not going to be able to walk beside a little boy as he takes his first steps. That is pain, that will never go away Claire, and all heroin will do is dull it, until the next fix," Charlie sighed. "Just please leave me alone."

With that, Claire picked up Aaron again, and made her way out of the tent. 'Let the fun begin,' she thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Claire sat, her eyes moving toward Charlie every so often. He was sleeping peacefully. Well, as peacefully as one could, when they were in immense pain. After he cried for what seemed like days, he finally drifted off to sleep. Claire was almost certain that if he could move his legs, he'd be tossing and turning.

"Hey," his rough and ragged voice called out.

He knew that Claire wasn't exactly comfortable with their current arrangement, and to tell the truth he felt bad. How weird was it, that the paralyzed man felt bad for making his caregiver feel uncomfortable? He wished for his own sake more than anything else, that he hadn't fallen. That he hadn't hurt his back, and that he didn't need constant care.

"Hey, you hungry?" Claire asked, flashing him a small smile.

She was trying to hard to just let everything go. To just be as comfortable as she could, but when he looked at her with those eyes. The eyes that held so much pain in them, eyes that also showed that he still cared for her. She couldn't help but feel the same goosebumps all over her body. She knew she cared for him still, and that his mistake wouldn't' take those feelings away. Looking at him now though, seeing the obvious pain in his eyes. Seeing his obvious need for her...his love for her, she almost wished she didn't care for him. Not because she was cold or heartless, no, not that. Because it hurt her so badly, so deeply to see him so helpless. She knew that he hated having to have someone wait on him hand and foot. To get him everything he needed. That was why she didn't want to care about him, because maybe then she would be able to get him to take the drugs. She just wanted him to feel better, to get better. She just wanted what he wanted. She just wanted to take a long walk down the beach, she wanted to hold his hand. She wanted him to be able to hold Aaron's hand when he took his first step. She wanted Charlie Pace, but she wasn't so sure that it was a good thing for him to know that. She wanted him to work to get better, maybe if he thought that if he worked harder to get better, maybe he would overcome this. Maybe he wouldn't be paralyzed forever. Maybe, just maybe, he'd walk again.

"Yeah, I suppose I could eat. Better yet, I suppose I should. Don't want Dr. Jack on my back about not eating. It's just..." Charlie started, but trailed off, his head hanging in defeat.

He hated being weak. He hated putting Claire in this situation. All he really wanted was to get better, to overcome this and get better. Hell, maybe if he could, if he could show her that he wasn't, as Sawyer has so kindly put it on numerous occasions, a 'limey runt' then she'd let him back in. That's all he truly wanted. To be near her, to care for her, protect her, love her. That was all he truly wanted, but he couldn't have any of that unless he could get up and walk, and dammit that was exactly what he was going to do.

His eyes moved toward Claire and noticed that she was checking on Aaron. He smiled softly, now was his chance. He was going to show Jack that his diagnosis was wrong, he was going to walk. He was going to show Claire that he wasn't weak.

Slowly, he planted his hands on the side of the bed. He wasn't stupid, he knew that he would have to make sure his arms held him up, till his legs could support him. He raised up, he grimaced as pain shot through his back, but didn't make a sound. He pulled his body to the side of the bed so that his feet dangled over the side. Now was his chance. He pulled himself until his feet hit the floor. Not feeling his feet touch the floor should have been a sign. It should have told him that he was in much worse shape then he wanted to believe, but all Charlie could think about was walking up behind Claire and surprising her. He used his arms to push him up, he smiled before he came crashing back down to the ground, his back smacking the unforgiving ground with a hard loud thud.

Charlie watched as Claire gasped, and seemingly turned in slow motion. He felt pain coursing through his back, and back up again. He closed his eyes, praying that the pain would subside, but instead it only got worse. He felt the hot wet tears hit the back of his eyelids, before crawling ever so slowly down his cheeks.

"Charlie, can you hear me?" Claire begged, she was now on her knees beside him. She had never seen him so broken.

"It hurts, it hurts so bad..." he said, his head resting against the dirt, before continuing. "I wanted to walk for you. I wanted to prove that I'm not helpless, that I'm not weak. I just wanted you to believe that so badly Claire I just..."

Charlie grimaced before screaming out in pain. He wanted to finish his speech, if he couldn't walk, he at least needed her to know that he did it for her, but right now all he could think about was the screaming pain that ran the length of his spine. The pain that slowly got worse with each passing second.

Claire bit her lip, and tried to keep her tears from falling. She needed to be strong for him. She held his hand tight, before realizing that someone needed to get Jack.

"Charlie, I have to get Jack okay?" Claire told him, her tone more questioning, like she was afraid to leave him.

"P-p-please...d-d-don't...l-l-leave...m-m-me," Charlie begged as he opened his eyes. Tears were flooding from them, and he couldn't stop them. The pain in his back was too bad now.

Claire sighed, she didn't know what to do, so she decided to use her voice, it had to be good for something.

"JACK!! KATE!! SOMEONE!!" Claire screamed, hoping that it would get someone's attention.

"Claire? What's wrong?" Kate asked upon entering her shelter, before seeing Charlie riving in pain on the ground.

"I don't know. I was checking on Aaron, I was about to grab him some supper. I heard a loud crash, I turned around and he was on the ground. He hit his back Kate, get Jack," Claire said, in between breaths.

"Okay, I'm going," Kate said as she ran out of Claire's shelter.

* * *

She thanked her lucky stars that it wasn't Jack's day at the hatch. That could have been very bad. She spotted him sitting and staring out into the ocean.

"Jack, it's Charlie, he fell..he hit his back. He's screaming in pain Jack, I think it's bad," Kate rambled, as she pulled his hand to help him up.

"What was Claire doing? She was supposed to be watching him, how could she let that happen?" Jack yelled at Kate as he stormed off toward Claire's shelter.

* * *

Claire felt the tears prick at the back of her eyes. She should have been keeping a closer eye on him, she should have watched him closer. This was all her fault, she squeezed his hand tighter wanting him to know that she was still there. She knew she was in trouble, and she knew that she wouldn't hear the end of it. She just hoped that Charlie would, or could forgive her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I had a bit of writer's block with this chapter, but I want to thank Music Junkie31, for giving me an idea on where to take this chapter. **

* * *

Chapter Four

Claire shyly, walked back into her shelter. Charlie was laying on his back, in the bed he had fallen out of. She nibbled on her lip, a million questions running through her mind, when she noticed the tears in Charlie's eyes. Her heart immediately fell, as she slid down beside him, grabbing his hand in hers.

"The great doctor said that I might have injured myself worse. He said that the chances of me walking again are even slimmer," Charlie sighed, a bit of bitterness in his voice.

"Can you answer a question for me?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, anything," he relaxed a bit, giving Claire a weary smile. He knew where this conversation was headed, and he wasn't sure that he was ready to explain everything to her.

"Why did you do it? I know you didn't fall out of bed. You tried to walk, and I need to know why," Claire pleaded with him.

"For you," his voice was barely above a whisper, but Claire heard it plain as day, as tears sprang to her eyes.

"Why Charlie? Why would you risk injuring yourself worse--For me?" she asked him, her eyes unable to meet his, afraid of the look she knew he was giving her.

"It's...it'll probably sound stupid when I say it out loud. I wanted to walk to you, to prove that I can take care of you. That I can take care of Aaron. I've had so many people tell me that I'm not even capable of taking care of myself. Telling me that I'd never beat my habit. I guess I was just sick of people telling me what I couldn't do. I mean, Jack had just told me that I would never walk again. I didn't want to hear that. I wanted to hear that if I tried really hard, that I would walk again. I want to walk again Claire. I don't want to have to lean so heavily on you. I don't want you to think that you have to take care of me. I don't want that, any of it. I just, I thought that if I put my mind to it, I mean really set my mind on walking. That, I don't know, I'd be able to do it. Obviously I was wrong, and now I really may never walk again, and it's my own stupid fault," with that Charlie sighed heavily before continuing. "I guess they were all right, I guess I'm not able to take care of anyone, since I can't even take care of myself."

Claire used her free hand to swipe away her falling tears. Her heart was breaking for Charlie, and for the first time she realized that she was falling for him.

"Your wrong Charlie. You've been such a great friend to me, and you've been so great with Aaron. I wouldn't, or couldn't ask for more. Your devotation to keeping me and Aaron safe is more than I could ask for Charlie. Your a wonderful man, and you really didn't deserve to have something quite so horrible happen to you. I believe in you Charlie. I believe you'll walk again. I promise you, I'm not leaving your side. I promise to help you walk again," Claire said, before lifting his hand to her lips and placing a small kiss on it, before using her thumb to brush away the excess tears from his eyes.

A crooked smile crossed Charlie's lips, "I think I love you."

Claire's heart skipped a beat at his words, although she knew that her feelings for him were much stronger than they used to be, she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to say anything back to him. Instead she pulled his hand and held it over her heart. He didn't really need her to say anything, and just the sentiment of her actions was enough to tell him that she loved his as well.

* * *

A week had passed since Charlie had tried to force himself to walk. He was eating better, more so for Jack and Claire's sake than his own. From what he could tell, and that wasn't much, it was later in the afternoon, and he was staring into Aaron's blue eyes, a small trail of drool leaking from his mouth.

"Come on buddy, not on my shirt," Charlie said, which was answered with a small giggle from Aaron. "Oh you like that huh? Like seeing me fight with changing my shirt. Well listen to this one, drool on my shirt I can handle. At least more so than spit up, and don't get any bright ideas in that head of yours."

"Oh, so you think Aaron's conspiring against you huh?" Claire smiled from the opening of her shelter.

"Yes, I do. I just changed my shirt and he's already drooling on my new one," Charlie said simply.

"Oh, a little drool isn't gonna hurt you. He drools on me all the time," Claire paused picking Aaron up from Charlie's stomach. "Isn't that right honey."

"It might, hold on," Charlie grinned enjoying their new game. He put his finger on the small wet spot on his shirt and pushed on it so that it was touching his bare stomach. "Owww, oh god the drool burns. It burns."

Claire chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. "Charlie's silly isn't he," she said, as she laid Aaron down in his crib.

"Silly...why yes I am. Although, I was thinking more on the lines of funny," he grinned at her.

She smiled back, as she sat down beside him. She placed a hand to his forehead as Jack had instructed. Just to ensure that he didn't run a temperature. As she did so, she saw the sadness and fear behind his smile. A smile that used to reach his eyes, now was just used to hide the sadness and tears that wanted to fall.

"Charlie, if you ever want to talk. Really talk, you know I'm here to listen.."

"I'm fine Claire. Besides, I don't want to turn into a crybaby. I know what's wrong with me, and yeah it sucks, but I've got you and Aaron to keep me company. That's all a man could ask for," he gave her a small cheeky smile, and in that instant he seemed more like himself than he had since the accident. She just hoped that these little peeks at his former self would last longer. Hoping that maybe that was the key to get him walking again. She hadn't been lying when she told him she believed in him, she did, and she was certain that he would walk again.

* * *

**Special Shout-out thanks to:**

**Music Junkie31 and Jemmz for the kind reviews for the last chapter. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so I have to start off by saying that I'm so happy to see so many reviews for the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoy this one. **

* * *

Chapter Five

It had been two weeks. Two long weeks since Charlie's accident, and Jack was utterly surprised that the young Brit's spirits were staying rather high. In fact just a few days ago, Jack had wondered into Charlie and Claire's tent to find that they were both laughing. At what, Jack didn't know, but to see that Charlie was laughing so heartily made him feel like anything was possible. Jack stood just outside their shared shelter, to find Claire's head laying against the side of the bed, her hand held tightly in Charlie's, his head tilted toward Claire. Both were sound asleep. He stood there for a moment relishing in the sight in front of him. He couldn't get over how simple it was for them. Even with Charlie's past, and more so, what he had done more recently.

Clearing his throat to make his presence known, Claire nearly lept from her position on the floor, her heart beating a mile a minute.

"Oh hey Jack," her voice sounded exhausted, and he wondered if she had been sleeping well.

"How's he feeling?" Jack asked her, he would eventually ask her how she was, but first thing was first. He was there to check up on Charlie.

"He's a good actor, but I can see through his act. He's scared, he's pissed, and he's in pain. He won't admit it though. I think he's afraid if he admits to the pain that we'll try and talk him into taking the heroin again..." her sentence trailed off as Charlie started to stir.

"Did I hear Dr. Jack's voice?" he asked, his eyes still close.

"Hello Charlie, how are you today?" he asked, kneeling down beside the bed, his head felt his forehead, a small amount of sweat was on his forehead, but no signs of a fever was evident.

"Same as always...some pain..." he stopped to shrug it off, like it was no big deal. "Some nightmares, that's about it."

The nightmares had started to worry Jack. Charlie never told Claire or Jack what they were about. All he would do was stare, and pant as he tried to catch his breath. The nightmares had only started recently, and Jack was afraid that he might had hit his head along with his back. Maybe Eko didn't see his head make contact with anything, but something was triggering the nightmares, and until Charlie shared what those nightmares were, all Jack could do was speculate about what was causing them.

Claire had grabbed his hand, worried just like Jack that something even more serious than his paralysis was effecting him, and all she really wanted was for him to open up, to tell her what was going on. All she truly wanted was to help him, and for him to want her to help him.

"Okay, and your eating and drinking regularly right?" Jack asked Charlie, but looked at Claire.

He knew that even if she lied with her words, that her eyes would immediately tell him the truth. She shook her in an improving manner, and her eyes agreed with her head was saying.

"Okay good. Now it's time to talk about recovery Charlie. Now, I can't say that this will work, I can't say that your paralysis isn't permanent and I definitely cannot say that if you try to walk again...that if you try physical therapy of sorts that it won't make you worse off. What I can say is that recovery is completely up to you. If you want to try physical therapy, then we'll, and what I mean by that is that each member of this camp Charlie, will help you in anyway possible. Anything you think your ready to try, we're there for you. If I were you though Charlie, I wouldn't' try to do too much to quickly," he paused making sure he took in his words carefully before continuing.

"If physical therapy is what you want to try, then I would like for you to wait at least another month before doing anything more than sitting up. Now I know that you've been working on that, and that your having some trouble staying upright. So until you can get that under control, I definitely wouldn't try anything more difficult..."

"I understand Jack, and I do want to try to recover. I want to walk again..." his voice trailed off before he decided to make his next statement. "But if you don't mind Jack, I'd like for Claire to help me. It's just...she makes everything easier for me, and she's so patient, and I don't want anyone else to see me as a failure. It's bad enough that you two see me this way, I couldn't bare if anyone else saw me like this..."

Claire's face was unreadable, even with two tears sliding down her cheeks. Part of her was grateful that Charlie wanted her to help her, while the other part felt for Jack. She knew he wanted to help. Especially after the whole Ethan thing, but she couldn't say that she wasn't happy that he wanted_ her_ help.

"If that's what you want Charlie, than that's fine. I just...I need to make sure that you understand that if you push yourself too hard, too quickly it could damage your back far worse. Trust me Charlie, the more damage you back sustains, the worse it's gonna be on you. One wrong fall Charlie, and instead of being paralyzed from the waist down, it'll be from the neck down. Please, please keep that in mind..." he paused slightly before meeting Claire's eyes. "Please keep a close eye on him, and make sure that he doesn't do to much."

With that Jack disappeared, he'd talk to Claire about her sleeping habits later, when he could speak to her alone.

* * *

"Claire, can I ask a favor..." his voice took a much serious tone, and his eyes bore into hers with a fiery intensity.

"Anything."

"Can I just..can I get a moment alone. Just to think please? I promise not to try anything stupid...just...please?" he begged her.

She simply shook her head in agreeance, before she lifted herself from the ground grabbing up Aaron from his crib, and leaving Charlie alone with his thoughts.

* * *

**Special thanks to:**

**Music Junkie31**

**Wickedgal08**

**Criss1Angel2mindfreak3lover**

**imagingthings**

**sk8r-grl**

**Jemmz**

**Thanks for all your kind reviews! It's what keeps this story going! I hope each of you continue to enjoy this one.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I wanna dedicate this chapter to MusicJunkie31! Thanks so much for your help with this chapter. I foresee a couple more chapters for this one. I hope everyone enjoys it!**

* * *

Chapter Six

Claire looked up from where she sat, and met Charlie's eyes. It had been a month since Jack had talked to Charlie about starting physical therapy, and in that month's time, Charlie had become strong enough to sit up on his own, and hold himself there.

Claire had beamed a huge smile the first time he was able to do it on his own. She hugged him tightly, and gushed at how proud she was of him.

Sitting on the floor of their shared shelter, that pride was still very apparent on her face as she smiled at him. He sat up, his back propped up against a makeshift wall that Jack and Sayid had installed so that he didn't have lie down all the time. He held Aaron against his chest. She knew her son was sound asleep by the tiny snores that escaped from his tiny body.

"What are you thinking?" he asked suddenly, taking her by surprise.

"How proud I am of you. I have faith in you Charlie, your gonna walk again, and I'm gonna be right there beside you when you do," she answered truthfully, sighing contently that she finally said that words that she had been dying to say for the past month.

She saw his eyes watering, and knew that tears were sliding down his cheeks. Carefully, she stood up from where she had been sitting, and sat down beside him on his bed. Leaning to the side, she let her head lay comfortably against the only availability of his chest. She sighed happily when she felt his arm snake around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"Thank you," he said simply.

* * *

Charlie woke the next morning, a painful sensation in his arms. He knew he had been exerting himself, over the past month. Jack had urged him, numerous times to slow down. He now wished he had taken him more seriously. Grimacing, he tried to pull himself upright, hoping a change in position would end the painful, searing pain in his arms.

"You okay?" Claire asked, noticing the grimace on his face.

"Just a bit of pain luv, it's nothing really....Ah! Bloody hell!" he screamed, as his arms gave out.

"I'll get Jack," Claire said, already to her feet.

"Please don't. I just, I've been working them too hard. They're just doing a bit of rebelling is all. I'll be fine, I promise," he winked at her, trying to hide the scowl of pain that was trying to creep up into his facial expression.

"Well he could give you something for the..."

"Oh bloody hell he will! I told you Claire, I won't take that stuff. I don't care if I feel like dying would be much easier than dealing with the pain. I refuse to deal any of it ever again," his voice raised a little louder than he intended.

"He just wants to help ease your pain Charlie," Claire sighed, knowing she had lost this argument.

"I know luv, and it means a lot to me. I just, I won't go through all of that non-sense again," he said, as he finally finished pulling himself up in an almost sitting up position, before patting the space next to him.

"Are you up for some more therapy today?" she asked, knowing that he wasn't.

"Of course I am. How else am I going to get these useless thing," he paused to point at his legs. "Working again?"

"Funny Charlie," she chuckled into his chest. "Only if you think your up to it."

"I'll be fine Claire. I'm not as breakable as you and Jack seem to think I am," he added in a teasing voice.

Raising up, and eying him carefully, she smacked his chest playfully before standing up from his cot.

"Well, since we're gonna work on trying to get some part of your legs or feet to move, I think Jack should be here. Just as a precaution," she added when she could see him starting to argue against it.

Huffing, he folded his arms across his chest in a childish manner. "I'll be back in a minute."

With a grin, and a chuckle she disappeared out of the shelter.

"Oh great, the bloody doctor is going to be here to watch me fail," his tone held an extra bite of sarcasm.

* * *

A few minutes later Claire reemerged into the shelter with Jack right on her heels.

"How you feeling Charlie?" he asked.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he answered. "Just peachy doc."

Jack, however, didn't have the self control that Charlie did, and rolled his eyes at him. "Can you not be serious?"

"Oh I can, and I am," Charlie grinned.

"Okay, let's get started," Claire interrupted the two of them.

Sitting down in front of Charlie, grabbing hold of one of his feet, and sitting in front of her "Try to move your foot Charlie." Her voice was more demanding that he do it, than asking him to.

"Demanding aren't we?" he said, chuckling at his joke, but quickly sobered up at the look she was giving him. "Fine."

His face twisted in what Claire would have guessed to be angoy, as he tried with all his might to move his foot. Just as he was about to give up, he felt, and the others saw, his big toe twitch slightly. His eyes moved from Jack to Claire and back again.

"Was it just me, or did my toe move?" Charlie asked, almost afraid that they would only confirm that he was just imagining things.

"No, it definitely twitched," Jack said, his tone was uneven.

"That's----- a good thing right?" he asked.

"Yes, of course it is," Jack said, his voice sounding as if he almost didn't believe that his toe actually moved.

"Charlie, you moved your toe," Claire gushed, jumping up from her seat in front of him, to his lap in a matter of seconds.

Instead of hugging him, like he was used to, Claire carefully pushed her lips to his, before leaning her forehead against his. "I am so proud of you Charlie. I knew you could do it."

Charlie could feel his heartbeat racing, and for the first time since his accident, he actually believed that he would walk again.

* * *

**Special Shout-Out Thanks To:**

**Jemmz**

**WickedGal08**

**MusicJunkie31**

**ImagingThings**

**Criss1Angel2MindFreak3Lover**

**LolaLines**

**For all the kind reviews! Keep them coming!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so I'm not really sure that I like this chapter. Also the 'song' in this chapter I wrote....it's not very good...Song-writing is not one of my strong suits. **

* * *

Chapter Seven

Hell. That's what Charlie felt like at this moment in time. He lay, still paralyzed from the waist down, on his cot. His arms were on fire, the burning sensation made him feel like his arms were hanging over a fire pit. He had sharp pains coursing the length of both of his legs. Although Jack insured him that, that was a good sign. Meant he was starting to get the feeling back into his legs. At this moment though, Charlie wished that the feeling would leave him the hell alone. Sleep had eluded him the whole night, instead he started at the 'ceiling' of his shared shelter. Listening to Aaron's tiny snores, and Claire's even breathing that let him know that both of them were sleeping soundly.

Quietly, trying to not wake either one of them, he started to hum. Quickly he smiled, as he enjoyed the tune he was humming, and started to add in some words.

* * *

**Working hard**

**working late**

**feeling quite like you don't belong**

**Then that one person grabs your hand**

**Makes you bend, till you break**

**you feel as if you can't breathe**

**Oh, love**

**Oh, me**

**can't you feel what I feel?**

**Oh, love**

**can't we**

**just be like other lovers baby**

**Telling you is hard**

**But keeping the truth, impossible**

**The looks you give me**

**the feelings inside**

**I can't hide them there for long**

**oh, love**

**oh, me**

**don't you feel that feeling?**

**Oh, love**

**can't we**

**be just like everyone else?**

**Can't you love me**

**Can't you feel me**

**Can't you see that I'm the only one now baby**

* * *

He stopped at the sound of a small chuckle coming from the other cot in the shelter. A smile on his face, he reached his arm over, and laid one hand on the top of her head.

"Making fun are we?" he asked, his voice more cheery than he would have thought possible, what with the searing, never-ending pain he felt.

"No, I thought it was nice. Who's it for?" she asked, hoping she knew the answer.

"Your awful silly luv. You should know," he said simply.

"Well, it's quite a lovely song, Charlie Pace," she said, as she sat up on her bed, turning to face him. "I must ask though. Why aren't you asleep?"

He grimaced slightly, not wanting to admit to just how bad the pain was. Knowing that it would bring up the conversation that they had, had many times now. The one that always made them fight, even if only slightly. She should know better by now, to not even mention it.

"I'm in a bit of pain. Nothing serious," he shrugged it off.

"I don't believe that Charlie. I'm going to get Jack. You need something to help," Claire said, her tone letting him know that there wouldn't be any discussion on the matter.

"Claire! Wait!" he hissed, not wanting to wake up Aaron.

"What Charlie? Are you going to laugh it off again? Tell me that it's not that bad? I hear you whimpering at night Charlie. I know your bloody well lying to me, and I refuse to let you talk me out of it anymore. I let you have a choice when I thought you were being honest with me. You need something to help with the pain, so you can sleep, or do you not want to walk anymore?" Claire asked, her tone letting him know that she was quite annoyed at him for lying to her. Her arms folded tightly across her chest.

"Claire, it's not even like that! Yeah I hurt. My arms feel like I've thrown them in a fire pit. Yeah, my legs hurt, but Jack said that, that's a good sign. That I'm getting the feeling back in them. Yeah I haven't exactly slept much lately, but eventually I'll get so exhausted that I won't have a choice, pain or no pain. Claire you don't understand. You don't even know how awful it is. How much _**more**_ painful withdrawal is, then what I'm going through right now. Trust me Claire, if this pain was worse than that, I would gladly welcome anything to take the pain away. It's not though, and when you go through withdrawal, there isn't a damn thing that I can take to make that pain go away. I am thinking of me, thinking of how awful I'll feel if I take it. I'm thinking of us. How the idea of drugs tore us apart not so long ago. What if I can't stop after I start again? What if I don't have that kind of strength again? Do you really want a druggie as a friend? I know you don't, and I don't blame you. I don't want to be that person again Claire. I don't want to need them again, to rely on them. I'd much rather rely on you. I'd rather have you tell me that everything will be okay, that soon enough I'll be back to my old self again. That the pain isn't permanent, that it'll go away. All I want to rely on, is you Claire. You and Aaron are the only things that matter to me anymore. As long as the both of you are safe, then I'm fine and I'm happy. That's all I want right now. If I'm able to walk again, then that's just an extra gift. Can you understand that Claire?" he asked, now sitting up, his hand reached out for her.

With tears in her eyes, she walked toward Charlie, grabbing a hold of his hand. "I can, and that was the most beautiful, heartfelt speech I've ever heard Charlie. I didn't know that it was so bad for you. I wish I had known the first time. I wish I could have been there for you. To help you. That's all **I** want, is to help **you**. Can you understand that?"

"Of course luv," he smiled at her, as he pulled her down beside him.

* * *

**The Next Morning**

Charlie woke, and realized that he had actually fallen asleep at some point. Raising up only slightly, he realized that something heavy was laying against his chest. Looking down, he smiled, as Claire's head rested comfortably on his chest. Laying back down, he stroked her hair carefully, trying to not wake her up.

"Hey buddy...Sorry didn't mean to interrupt," Hurley quickly added, as he went to leave.

"It's not like that, please come in," Charlie grinned at his friend, who hadn't seen much of since his accident.

"I just wanted to see how you were feeling. Obviously better than even I could have thought," Hurley added.

"It's not like that Hurley. What have you been up to?" he asked quickly, changing the subject.

"Well, I've been trying to help Eko with the church. You know, for you. I know that it meant a lot to you, so I thought I'd take your place, just tell your walking again man. We all believe in you Charlie," he added quickly.

"That's nice man. Tell everyone thanks for me," Charlie gave him a warm smile.

"Of course dude. Look I'm gonna go, don't wanna wake the Missus," Hurley smiled back, before disappearing.

"That was nice," he heard, and smiled, before kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah, that's Hurley," a smile still on his face. "So, you gonna lay on me all day or what?"

"I might, you're just too comfortable," she grinned, and quickly groaned when Aaron started to cry from his bed. "I guess not."

Charlie laughed lightly, as she rose from his chest, and stood up to check on him.

"Charlie, could I talk to you?" Eko asked, peeking his head in.

Claire nodded in encouragement, as she took Aaron with her, as she left the shelter.

"Of course Eko," Charlie said, trying to pull himself up in a sitting position.

"I just, I wanted to apologize to you, in person. This," he paused gesturing toward Charlie half sitting, half laying on his cot. "Is all my fault. I shouldn't have made you do something that you couldn't. You told me you couldn't reach it, I should have made you get off the ladder. I am truly sorry about this Charlie."

"It's okay Eko. I don't blame you. This is not your fault. You told me to get off the ladder, I bloody well didn't listen. I wanted so badly to be useful. After what happened with Claire, I just, I felt like such a failure. You were the only person to let me help them with anything. I just wanted so badly to be of use to you, and when I couldn't reach it...." Charlie let his sentence trail off, when he saw Claire standing just outside the tent, her eyes wide.

"It's all my fault," she whispered, Charlie shook his head furiously back and forth but she didn't listen, as tears streamed down her cheeks, and she took off away from the shelter, knowing he could follow her.

* * *

**Special Shout-out Thanks to:**

**Musicjunkie32**

**Lolalines**

**Wickedgal08**

**For the kind reviews.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry, I know this chapter is really short and it's the last one. I was just, having really bad writers block with it. I say a special thanks to MusicJunkie32 for helping me out with this chapter. I hope you've all enjoyed this story!**

* * *

Chapter Eight

Charlie sighed softly. Today was the day. Today he would try to walk on his own. The past week had been difficult on him. After he had Hurley, nearly drag Claire back to the shelter, so that he could explain how it was his fault, and his fault only, that he was in his current situation. He started his therapy again. Vigouriously, was how Jack put it. Said that it was good to 'strike-while-the-iron-was-hot.' In easier terms, it was better to take advantage of his pain, knowing that he had some sort of feeling back in his legs, than to let it go to waste.

Jack poked his head into their shelter, and saw that both of them looked both anxious and excited. He smiled softly at both of them, before entering the shelter fully.

"You ready Charlie?" Jack asked softly.

He sighed again. He didn't want to admit that he was afraid. That he was afraid he'd fall on his face. That he'd make a fool of himself in front of the whole camp. He forced a smile on his lips, before making eye contact with Jack.

"Ready and willing Dr. Jack," he chuckled lightly, hoping that it didn't sound fake.

"That's good Charlie," Jack said, as he met Claire's slightly worried expression. "Let's go then."

Jack stood in front of Charlie, as he carefully lifted him into his arms, and carried him out of the shelter. Once they were a good ten feet from their shelter, Jack slowly started to let Charlie down until his feet hit the sand below.

"Now, Charlie. I'm gonna hold onto you, just to make sure you don't fall down okay? I want you to just try to shuffle your feet," Jack said softly.

Charlie nodded, and felt as Jack's hand lingered against his back. Sighing softly, he closed his eyes, and focused all of his energy on his feet. Groaning loudly, he sighed after a few minutes when his feet were still in the same position.

"It's alright Charlie. You just have to be patient, okay? Let's try again," Jack said, his voice was more upbeat than Charlie had ever heard before. Charlie just simply nodded, before clenching his eyes closed.

Focusing on his feet and nothing else, he put every ounce of energy he had in moving one foot. His eyes almost automatically popped back open when he felt his foot slide just a bit in front of him. His eyes went from his feet to meet Jack's eyes, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating or anything.

"Charlie, you did it! You moved your foot!" Jack said, his voice held a high level of excitement.

"I did it!" Charlie's voice mimicked Jack's excitement.

"You did it Charlie!" Claire called from where she stood waiting for Charlie to walk to her.

He smiled proudly, as he concentrated again. His feet shuffled slowly just an inch at a time, but he was moving. He was nearly walking. He wasn't useless anymore. He stopped suddenly and looked toward Jack.

"Can I try by myself?" Charlie asked, his voice held an almost shy hint to it.

"Of course, if you think your ready," Jack said.

Charlie nodded, and Jack removed his hand from Charlie's back.

Shuffling, one foot in front of the other. Keeping his eyes on Claire's, whose eyes were full of tears, quickly he noticed that he was almost to her. Getting excited, he tried to move faster, and found that his foot tripped over his other foot, and he started to fall forward. He waited to hit the ground, but it never came. Looking up, he saw that Claire had lunged forward, and caught him.

"I am so proud of you Charlie!" she gushed, as she kissed his cheek.

"Dude you did it! Everyone saw! You walked dude!" Hurley yelled from just a few feet away.

Charlie felt a warm smile cross his lips, as he realized that he had actually accomplished something great. He had been paralyzed. No one knew if he would walk again, and he did. He accomplished something, that some people lost forever. For the first time, for real this time, he was utterly proud of himself. He had his life and his love back. In this instant, this one second, he was really and truly happy.

* * *

**Special Shout-Out Thanks to:**

**MusicJunkie32**

**LolaLines**

**ImagingThings**

**For the kind reviews.**


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